New feature at the San Diego Zoo!!!

Well the economy has really hit the Zoo business hard and here at the San Diego Zoo we've decided to drum up some more revenue by offering a very special event every Friday...it's called Assholes and Animals! Basically every Friday night we will extend our hours to 3 am, lower our beer prices signicantly, and visitors will be allowed to throw objects at the animals free of charge!! What a fun time!!!

OK they're not really doing that over there but I was pretty tripped out that they sold beer at the zoo and they have a program where you can go and camp out over night inside...I was extremely tempted to do it but I've done enough on this trip to be accused of being a pedophile...In any case the zoo was cool as shit and I am adoring the 70 degree temperature of San Diego. The desert was definitely starting to wear on me. On the way down here I had to drive through the Colorado Desert for about an hour and that was actually really intense because it was absolute nothingness and 116 degrees. There was also no one out there at all. And i mean real desert...like sand dunes and no vegetation and shit. Really crazy.

San Diego has been cool so far. I am the only American in this hostel...everyone is Irish and hammered constantly. We played poker last night and I think I pissed off the staff because this weasley fuck that apparently works here said I look like Zack Galifinakis to which I replied well you're the one rocking the 'stache without any sense of irony there Cheech and this was right after I went on one of my rants about the uselessness of dubstep. I don't know maybe he's a DJ or something but I think the staff hates me now. All the people staying here are super cool though. I was hanging with a couple Australians last night and then a whole freaking herd of drunk Micks come home and I wound up discussing economics with them until 1 in the morning. Strange night. However do not fret because there is a delectable pizza-by-the-slice place across the stree that I can smell from my unintentionally private room on the top floor and there is a very enticing pub crawl tonight where I will God-willing find some beautiful and hammered pair of boobs with an accent that will make an international incident out of my junk.

By the way I don't think I've mentioned it but the Grand Canyon was truly amazing and awe-inspiring. I thought it was going to be built up too much and I was going to be terribly unimpressed because it's such a touristy clusterfuck but man oh man that thing is absolutely hard to fathom. Damn near killed myself hiking into the thing too but it was well worth it. I like Flagstaff too and OMFG I had the best cheeseburger there at a place called Diablo's. They use English muffins as the buns which sounds weird but it's freaking awesome. I also had my first In-n-out experience as well which was also breathtaking...damn I'm eating a lot of cheeseburgers.

Well I'm here for at least one more day if the Irish staff doesn't kill me tonight and then I think I want to go to Venice beach and flex my glutes on the sidewalk...damn that reminds me I need to shave my ass tonight. Farewell chitlins!!!! Cali's got me...help!!!!!!