OK so I made that little side trip to Big Bend National Park and holy friggin' cannolli is was hot!!! I decided to emerge myself in a short little personal test of manhood and hike 6 miles in 120 degrees through the ACTUAL Mexican desert landscape. Just to give you an idea of how stupid I am I was the only car parked at the trailhead when I got there, hiked into the desert, and on my way back to the car 3 hours later I was able to stay on the trail by way of my own footprints because everyone had stayed in the mountains. Bunch of pussies in my opinion...I made that dessert my personal bitch making me sandwiches and shit. Wait I meant desert...shit which way do I spell it? I mean obviously I've made a lot of deserts my bitch...shitdamn everyone knows that. But this particular day I made a dessert my bitch...course I made a desert my bitch my too. After a hike like that HOO WEEE I was ready for some ice cream. But back to the lecture at hand...Big Bend is an amazing, awe-inspiring place and I'm so glad I went there. And yes I was keeping my eye out for border jumpers. Hell I was hiking along the Rio Grande...I was practically working for the Border Control. Apparently the illegal immigrants were smarter than I was as well as I saw no one wading into freedom. Oh by the way I met the COOLEST people from Boston that are also driving across the country...we hung out in Marfa and then they met me in Big Bend. We camped out and looked at super novas and drank stolen wine together...it was a healthy experience. In any case go to Big Bend immediately and hike to the top of the Chisos Mountains and sit there and think about the universe...truly unbelievable place and I'm so glad I followed that impulse. Thank you weird creepy guy at Padre's that kept bitching about onion ring manufacturing!
Oh quick thought today...has anyone ever heard of an acoustic George Michael cover band? Tell me we couldn't book that shit everywhere! I think that might be my job when I return.
So where to next? Well I have checked into a lovely crack motel in Carlsbad, New Mexico because I got here too late to go in the caverns. Carlsbad is a lot like South Atlanta if you added even MORE Mexicans and took away all the good restaurants. Meh I'm not bothered though because I mostly wanted to have a quick shower seeing as how I haven't had one in 4 days and have been sleeping on top of the most precariously placed rock in the Chisos Mountains...driven directly into my lower back. Thus I have given up on the charm of Carlsbad and I think I will go to the caverns in the morning and then spend a night in Roswell...aliens and conspiracy theories anyone??? Hmmm...I think that might have to happen. Plus I'm hoping Kathryn Heigl still lives there...I'd still totally hit that. I'm planning out what happens after that tonight and I may get back out in the wilderness soon so if I don't post for a little bit I'm very likely being raped by alien invaders. Good night America!!!
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