But I like cake!!!

Moving on...keeping it trucking.

Do you think it was really annoying and complicated 2000 years ago when they made the switch from B.C. to A.D.? I bet everyone was really pissed off and kept dating checks wrong. People kept using it as an excuse when they were late to work. It was likely a difficult transition but after a few months everyone was like "This makes so much more sense! What the hell were we counting down to anyway?"

So now that what's her name no longer exists there's a new problem I'm tackling...getting rid of these relationship pounds. It's funny how easy it is to develop a nice and comfortable fat ass when you're in a healthy relationship. The thought process makes so much sense! "Hmmm...there's a beautiful girl that seems to really like my personality and she is still banging me. I have no need to impress anyone ever!" And then all of a sudden cake starts tasting way better than it did before.  The next thing you know you've put on about 20 pounds and then she goes to Denver and holy crap I'm single again. Shit! Now I have to rely on my winning personality and sense of humor to get me laid! You know losing weight was always easy before because I had jobs that required me to run around and do stuff all the time. They also interfered with my meals so I never ate and ran around slinging drinks for ten hours at a time...now that's an easy diet! But now my life is planning and meeting and sitting and discussing shit all day and I'm not losing weight as fast as before. I should start bartending again. Start bartending...lose weight...bang pretty ladies. Worked last time!!

You know I've always wanted abs but I feel like they're slowly drifting away. Abs to me are like Wilson in Cast Away...they're just floating away and I am an insane bearded hermit yelling from my raft. "Abs!!!! I'm sorry abs!! I love you but sit-ups suck balls! Come back!!"

I have been addressing my unhealthy lifestyle lately and it has been good. I go for these little walk-jogs on the Beltline and listen to Steve Winwood and I feel pretty good. I don't think I want to get too obsessed with it though. If I get really motivated and really become obsessed with staying in shape and change my diet and start limiting my drinking and then I get cancer in a couple years I am going to be fucking PISSED! That's what happened to Steve Jobs. Dude ate nothing but fruit and was all disciplined and focused on his health and now he's dead. Wow what a waste of time...of course his retarded belief in holistic medicine was also a factor. But there you go...super healthy people die all the time. It's really a roll of the dice. For now I'm going to keep having fun but going outside and giving myself a heart-attack on occasion probably isn't such a bad idea either.