Ahhhh....ohhhhh boy that was a nice nap. Holy spicoli nothing hits the spot like closing your eyes for a minute and just not doing crap for a while. Let me just jump on the old internet machine here and see what I missed. Whoa what the farts??? Who messed with the calendar thingy on my desktop? Has it seriously been almost two years since I was on here? Oh my God! Two years of my life gone...Nooooooooo!!!!!!!
OK be calm...let's get the butler in here. He'll explain everything. Tanjit, what the hell happened? Uh huh...OK so I remember working at the bar at Nap's. And then someone handed me a red pill and a glass of corn liquor and I vaguely remember waking up in a pod filled with pink goo and hoses attached to my body. Did we reelect that boner in Washington? Ah who cares it's all the same shit. Ya ya...something about a bachelor party in Key West. No I'm not gay! It was the groom's idea, trust me. What else? Ya a couple weddings, someone had a baby, blah blah blah, New Orleans for New Years, nice. Douching around, bullshit bullshit bullshit, turned 30, gross. Wait what??? I bought a bar? When the fuck did that happen? Oh shitmonkies how the hell did I do that? It better be an awesome bar...AHHHH it's in Little Five?? I can't afford gauges in my ears! Oh and the tattoo bills holy crap! Well how's it doing? It's not open yet??? Shit!! Well when's it going to open? October?? Oh boy I've got some figuring to do. What else man? A girlfriend!! Ahhh holy shit what about that whole vow of celibacy thing you made me swear when we were taking acid in Sri Lanka that time! Well I know I wasn't serious but still! Is she cool at least? Into Phish, loves animals and bourbon. Holy shit Tanjit my head's spinning. OK let's get the jam jamming again. First things first! I need a glass of corn liquor and a red pill of some kind...
So here I am back on the pain train. I missed writing random weird things that only I ever read. I find it's quite therapeutic and I usually think I'm at least moderately funny so here I go again on my own. And stop singing Whitesnake!
So according to Tanjit I quit my job at Napoleon's to concentrate on this new venture full time. It should be a super-nice music venue called Aisle 5 here shortly and apparently I'm running the bar and kitchen. Should be healthy if it ever opens. Also if you know me it's all I talk about so I won't ramble on the details here but when it opens bring your ass and you're drinking shoes!
This new venture has also landed me smack-dab in the middle of a crackpipe circus, AKA Little 5 Points. So, in dickedge v. 5.3 or whatever the fuck number I'm on at this point I will certainly be posting my funny observations and interactions I have with the strange and noteworthy locals of my new business home. Like Tao and the crazy meth-chick with the sequins and the shaved head. I already made friends with them. OK I'll be back on as the ideas start rolling again. Keep it real my little chickadees.
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