Annoyance of the day...

OK this has been on my mind a while but I just thought to blog it. Why are chicks adopting slang and insults that are distinctly gender-specific? That is so fucking stupid and dudes are embracing this idiocy I guess because they think it's sexy? Or funny? I don't know why but it's fucking dumb and it needs to stop. No mam, I will not suck your dick. You don't have one. And GI Jane was a stupid dyke retard too and that shit would never happen. Or girls saying "I'd hit that." No you wouldn't, that's old black ghetto slang for fucking a chick. You hitting that doesn't make sense. "I'd sit on his face." There you go...say that. Or "suck a queaf." Just stop taking dudisms and using them for yourselves in what I imagine has to be some sort of feminist thing. Look feminism is all well and good I don't give a shit but feminists stealing from dudes only reaffirms the fact that dudes are far and away the dominant gender because we're the ones that have all the good slang ideas. I believe Freud called it "Penis Envy."

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Holy shit this is still here! Well we all know about my idea about the zombie stripper movie. It's called "Zombie Strippers." The tag line is "they're dead on the inside AND the outside" and it will involve a bakery and interstellar travel. Oh, and all the strippers can speak but they all talk like they're retarded. Kind of a comedy feel to the ordeal.

Does anyone else know somebody that can't continue a conversation when "Night Moves" comes on? I mean I'm sorry but I'm not going to put my existence and intense discussion about if Leia was ever forced to have sex with Jabba while she was a slave and the intricacies involved therein just because some drug addict you knew once happened to enjoy this one song. It's a good song! Everybody likes it fuck you! I'd like to see Obama do that to Vladimir Putin in the middle of disarmament negotiations. "Vlad hey shut the fuck up for a sec." Actually in all honestly that would be kinda cool. Fuck those commy cocksuckers we'll finish this treaty when we're good and goddamn ready.

3 Layer Nachos...

So anyway...there is a reason why the 3-layer Nachos at Taco Bell are 89 cents...holy Christ that is the most disgusting thing I have ever imagined being forged by man.

I ate less then a third of that and I am convinced that it was made up entirely of human feces topped with nacho cheese.

I am almost positive I just contracted dysentery.

There are upwards of 2 dozen horrifying things I would consume with a fucking smile before I ever eat that fucking curse upon humanity spawned by the Prince of Darkness himself. Holy fucking shit I am amazed that the land of the free would allow such a travesty to be spewed upon the masses.

I have convinced myself that the primary ingredient of wretched dish is a Mexican that was killed in lieu of reporting to ICE.

Awful shitty meal
When drunk seems like good idea
Please don't shit the bed

It's Friday...you ain't got no job...you ain't got shit to do!

Unemployment. Jesus that's a dirty word. If you're not part of the machine of slave-labor in this country that produces for this cursed economy it feels like a scarlet letter or something. It's tough socializing at parties because that is almost always the first topic of every conversation one has with a new person. It's actually kind of a shame that in this society that is how we describe ourselves right off the bat whether we hate our job or love it. Why is that? Every job I've ever had was in no way related to the type of person I am or was any indication of my personality or value set. I'm guilty of it myself. What if when you met a new person you asked "What do you like to do?" "What makes you happy?" "What do you want out of this life?" That would come across as weird as hell but if I'm making a new friend that's what I'm really interested in. The fact that you're an internal auditor or that you sell pet anti-depressents isn't going to affect our relationship in the slightest however that is what we all want to know about someone right off the bat. Hell, we spend just as much time sleeping as we do working during our lives so why don't introductions include " Hi I'm Richard and I prefer a firm mattress." I think it would make for many more meaningful relationships if we cut down to the core of a person's Psyche right off the bat.

My unemployment as of yet has sucked because it's been so cold outside. Winter is a curse for people that love the outdoors but can't stand multiple layers. That has left me stuck inside most of the time staring at job postings and self-reflecting. Self-reflection...my God what an awful concept after about 12 minutes. I mean, when I was laid off I was of the attitude that I was going to take this opportunity to think about what I really want to do with myself and what I want to contribute to the world and after 3 months I am still just as confused as I was when I was doing my last job. This self-reflection bullshit has yielded no results as of yet. I often feel lost and worthless. So how do we do it? How do we discover that one beautiful and wonderful thing that makes us happy for 8 hours a day so that when we wake up we jaunt out of bed and whistle for every minute of the 2 hour fuckhole commute we have to suffer through? The answer, I believe, is we don't. We take a job that we can just tolerate and we look forward to the nights and weekends when our cell phone is free and we can actually be ourselves. It's a damn shame I can't make six figures making jokes and drinking beer with my friends.

At the same time however...unemployment is fun. I have read countless books, gotten in much better shape, and started taking better care of myself. I think that is what I'm going to start using the blog for...as a way to report the things I am learning and doing with my time during unemployment. First entry=I started a blog. I mean...it's basically a diary that everyone can see anyway, so lets go with that. I'll also be including my opinions and reviews of the things I am experiencing. I like it...lets go with that. Peace bitches!!

Dick

So......

OK, so this is my first post to this blog business and I'm not sure where I will be going with this exploration of thought processes. I have a lot of random thoughts and observations as does every other human on this planet however with the advent of the internet we get to hear all of them! I'm just going to try and use this as a means for me to blow my load of ideas into the world for absolutely no reason except for my own amusement. There is a forum for everything and I think I'll use this for now.