Ya the last couple of weeks have been pretty swell And ya I used the word swell, what of it???
October is the absolute most awesome badass time of year for myself and thus the entire universe for a variety of reasons that all culminate right about 4 days into the month. Let's start with the most obvious: football. Football by this time of year has taken a steroid rage-esque stanglehold on the frontal lobes of every non-vegetable human being in America and it is a breathtaking sight to watch us all drool over and brag about the spellbinding achievements of others. Sweet Lord just thinking about Drew Brees ninja-punching homo Indianapolis linebackers in front of millions of screaming lunatics makes me embarrassingly aroused. And of course the Dawgs are usually spending this time of year deciding whether we will be beaten by both Tennessee and Florida or if it will just be Florida...Let's beat the odds this year Richt! Oh football you are in the top five excuses I use to get hammered while the sun is shining.
Reason number 2: The weather. I mean duh this is an obvious one but I think October really closes the case on why the South is awesome and everything up North is awful and barren and terrible. In places like Milwaukee and Fargo and Fucktard, New Hampshire it's starting to get cold as balls and they're having to start feeding the babies more liquor and burning more animal dung to keep the frostbite from spreading. And hey that's totally fun and probably pretty cool but honestly I'd rather live down here where we can still wear shorts and not feel weird ordering a Bud Light Lime. Nope, down here it's still absolutely beautiful and all of the snow monkeys in the Northern Territories are hunkering down to begin growing their Winter coats and overeating sausages to prepare for the hibernation. Oh glorious sunshine you are fun and cool!
So what else...oh I get to go to Destin in October which sounds strange but you must understand that the famous Destin Fishing Rodeo happens throughout the month of October and on the second weekend of the month we go down there and go fishing. And if I'm lucky I am unemployed at this time of year and I can go down early and get drunk for a few extra days before we go out fishing on Saturday. Yayyy unemployment vacations!!! Well that did happen to be the case this year and Dad and I went on down early and commenced slow Florida living. Well to be honest it kind of reminded me of being back on the road. I'd put Dad to bed at like 10 and then it's just me and I go out for a drink and wind up chilling at the bar alone. It's healthy and you learn to actually appreciate the quiet and entertaining yourself. You watch all the other fools around you making jokes and trying to bang each other and you sit back and enjoy the show. So anyway the forecast was calling for 10 foot seas and we all decided that violently puking while trapped in a washing machine we paid money for was not an enjoyable Saturday and commenced return to the right side of the border.
Actually I came on back early and got to catch a SICK Widespread show that freaking ROCKED! Best Flat Foot Floozy ever. I was able to snag a tik at the last second and they really brought the heat. Ricky and I both agreed it was a phenomenal show. And then what happens the following weekend? Bassnectar and Pretty Lights!! Or Pretty Lights and Bassnectar!! However you like it but this past weekend was a blur of bass bomb ridiculousness. I went ahead and booked a hotel up in Alpharetta to limit the influenced explorations and from there it was raging awesome electronic music and wondering what the hell all these high school kids were doing out. It's a little unnerving when you see some 16 year old girl wearing a bikini and fishnets, covered in glitter and domed out of her skull on MDMA. I swear these kids today either have way overly cool parents or they are much better liars than I ever was. In any case PL and BN were incredibly awesome as well as Big Gigantic who is a personal favorite of mine. I just have a thing for any band with a saxophone...makes me feel like a film noir detective in the forties.
And Halloween's coming up and it doesn't look like I'm going to make it to the Cocktail Party again this year. It's a little depressing but maybe I'm getting too old for these 3 day drinking binges. Or maybe they just come around a little too often. There will be parties however and I guess I have to conquer that most American of dilemmas we all have to face at least once a year...what will I wear to the costume party? Shit I'm terrible at this. I'll probably cop out and just be green man but I'm very tempted to go as Bearded Ke$ha. I'd like to go as something that wouldn't completely rule out the idea of getting laid but hell if I get a few good laughs that's probably just as good and far less messy. Well have a wonderful week boils and ghouls and I'll catch you on the flipside.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Could weaponized Rabies be the mutated zombie super-virus that finally starts the Apocolypse?
OK I have a question for the masses...does Hollywood know when it makes a shitty movie? I just watched Waterworld (ya...that whole freaking movie) and literally every 30 seconds I was seeing something that didn't make any sense whatsoever. I mean holy shit so the entire plot is worked around this little girl with a tattoo of a map to dry land on her back. You know what this map is? It's a circle with an arrow on it. How freaking stupid is having a map when everything is water. And nobody once asks this little girl where she got the tattoo. Another hole in that plot...where did all the bad guys get the cigarettes? I mean I know it was a requirement with mid-nineties movies that bad guys had to smoke but I found it a bit difficult to explain in this film. If only Nicolas Cage could have been in it....
Getting back to my point, does Hollywood know when it makes a piece of shit movie. There has to be incredibly intelligent people out there writing these movies. Are they convinced what they've written is good or do they think the American people are stupid enough to think it's cool and thus produce a sizeable profit with the least amount of intellectual labor. Honestly I believe it's the latter. We cater to and worship awful morons in this country and I think Hollywood is going to continue to push turds onto the movie screen as long as assholes are keeping those Jersey Shore mongoloids high in the ratings. Retardary and obnoxiousness are valued in our culture and that is why everything sucks here now. I am certainly not against a private industry making profits and I believe deeply in free trade and capitalism but I am very convinced that the search for profits in Hollywood has destroyed an artform in America and that is a fucking shame. For God sakes did you guys see Green Lantern? We've become lab rats giving measured reactions to flashing lights and pretty colors. No spirits, no passion, no excitement and no good taste in anything. Of course can I really talk shit? I want to start a George Michael cover band and Roswell is one of my favorite shows of all time. Nah...I ain't apologizing for that. The WB was the Renaissance of teen TV (miss you Buffy).
Destin...I love you. You are a perfect combination of redneck water worship and snooty housewives swiping their souls away in outlet malls. Of crystal-clean white beaches with young blonds wearing skimpy bathing suits and alcoholic illiterate wharf rats gutting mackerel in the sun. This week we go down for the rodeo and I am extremely pumped. I probably should live in Florida. My three favorite things are fishing, not wearing shoes, and drinking beer. Of course I can technically do all of those things here but it's so much more awesome down there. OK I'm not getting on a rant about moving to Florida. Shit I've got the state of Georgia tattooed on my back! With an arrow, pointing up! And it leads to dry land!
Oh so they let Amanda Knox out today! Good for her...go America!! I was thinking earlier how funny it would be if her parents get her back here and they immediately go eat at Olive Garden. That would crack me up.
No I haven't gotten a job yet. There are too many activities coming up. I know that sounds shitty but it's really hard to start a new job and then immediately be like "I'm gonna need the next few weekends off." I will get something soon though. I have to. For Christ sake I'm watching Waterworld!
Man I don't have that many ideas this week...Fishing and beach-bumming it for the next few days so I should have some material here next week. Later peeps!
Getting back to my point, does Hollywood know when it makes a piece of shit movie. There has to be incredibly intelligent people out there writing these movies. Are they convinced what they've written is good or do they think the American people are stupid enough to think it's cool and thus produce a sizeable profit with the least amount of intellectual labor. Honestly I believe it's the latter. We cater to and worship awful morons in this country and I think Hollywood is going to continue to push turds onto the movie screen as long as assholes are keeping those Jersey Shore mongoloids high in the ratings. Retardary and obnoxiousness are valued in our culture and that is why everything sucks here now. I am certainly not against a private industry making profits and I believe deeply in free trade and capitalism but I am very convinced that the search for profits in Hollywood has destroyed an artform in America and that is a fucking shame. For God sakes did you guys see Green Lantern? We've become lab rats giving measured reactions to flashing lights and pretty colors. No spirits, no passion, no excitement and no good taste in anything. Of course can I really talk shit? I want to start a George Michael cover band and Roswell is one of my favorite shows of all time. Nah...I ain't apologizing for that. The WB was the Renaissance of teen TV (miss you Buffy).
Destin...I love you. You are a perfect combination of redneck water worship and snooty housewives swiping their souls away in outlet malls. Of crystal-clean white beaches with young blonds wearing skimpy bathing suits and alcoholic illiterate wharf rats gutting mackerel in the sun. This week we go down for the rodeo and I am extremely pumped. I probably should live in Florida. My three favorite things are fishing, not wearing shoes, and drinking beer. Of course I can technically do all of those things here but it's so much more awesome down there. OK I'm not getting on a rant about moving to Florida. Shit I've got the state of Georgia tattooed on my back! With an arrow, pointing up! And it leads to dry land!
Oh so they let Amanda Knox out today! Good for her...go America!! I was thinking earlier how funny it would be if her parents get her back here and they immediately go eat at Olive Garden. That would crack me up.
No I haven't gotten a job yet. There are too many activities coming up. I know that sounds shitty but it's really hard to start a new job and then immediately be like "I'm gonna need the next few weekends off." I will get something soon though. I have to. For Christ sake I'm watching Waterworld!
Man I don't have that many ideas this week...Fishing and beach-bumming it for the next few days so I should have some material here next week. Later peeps!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Braves are blowing it, Dawgs are sucking it, and I'm still karate chopping the sheetrock.
Oh boy where to begin...oh I know! Jew weddings are fucking SWEET!!! Holy crap so we went to this wedding last week and a certain young schlemiel I know from when I was slinging rock and working hoes down by Oak Lane decided to marry a lovely young lady that has one connection or another to North Carolina and we went deep into meth country to watch these two darling people get married in front of the back 9. It was a lovely ceremony and it involved breaking stuff. So anyway we leave the ceremony and I'm wanting to get to the bar ASAP because I was missing the Bulldawgs completely shit the bed and let a team called the Cocks, the freaking COCKS, have their miserable way with us!! The reception was extremely fun however and after watching the game on my phone which was mind-blowing technology to me (I accidentally managed to scream Touchdown! in the middle of the daddy/daughter dance) they placed the couple on chairs and bounced them around all over the dance floor. And THEEEEENNNNNN a bunch of people grabbed hands and started running in circles like freaking lunatics and everyone was rocking out and impressively drunk and it was quite the enjoyable show. Thanks to the Grizzly Bert and the Deermonster for saying funny stuff the whole time and not giving me crappola about cheating on the whole no smoking thing. That waitress at Cracker Barrel was starting to get a little too comfortable by the time we were leaving.
Sooooooo...well from there it was mostly time to hang out and do stuff; two things I am very surprised were not offered as majors at Georgia and I am greatly offended by that. Oh ya my prodigy from another progeny Collin "Right" Herr came to visit for like 7 hours and we got to watch the Braves win I believe. Did they win? I can't quite remember, my memory is clouded from the 53 pounds of heroin-esque divinity that is Popeye's chicken. Boner city my boy...boner city. So ya I got to see the Braves again before they starting shitting all over themselves and doing everything they can to let the St. Louis Monkey Fisters take the freaking wildcard. Maybe if we let Derek Lowe take a bottle of Crown and a stripper out to the mound he'd quit giving up home runs. Just rent him a fur bus on the way home or something...can't have him screwing up the rotation with court dates all the time.
This week's word of wisdom: It is still possible to get a chilli cheese burrito from Taco Bell. There is one Taco Bell left on the planet that still serves this tasty dose of genius stoner food and it is located in the Lenox Mall Food Court. Go there. Eat it. Know life.
I also got to go camping on Saturday which was a hoot and a holler. Basically Trey "The Greencard" Slinkard and Jackie "The African Shenanigan" Bartleet and I went to the woods and got fucked up. Greencard made pork tenderloin on the rustiest cooking appliance I've ever been party to. Breaking through the haze of McCormick's and Mountain Dew I was slamming along with the tasty coffee drinks we all were enjoying was a very delicious forest dish that completely covered up the taste of deteriorating steel that peppered the grilled vegetables. I was very pleased and I always have fun with my number one favorite couple in the greater Chamblee area. They stick with what works and I respect that. Also congrats on the engagement you guys! I've always wanted to be proposed to on stage with Creed right when they break into the bridge of "Higher" and I'd rip off my t-shirt, grab the mic from what's his name, and scream "Ahhhhh Yaaaaaaa" right when all the pyrotechnics and sparks exploded and it would be the most epic and badass slaughterfuck of a proposal any man has every received from the red-headed chick from True Blood. However...doing it atop the Arc de Triomphe in Paris is pretty freaking cool too. Good job guys.
Well Screw Baloo what the fuck else is going on. So I've been reading some history lately and I've come to a conclusion about my heritage and that of the entire human race. Every development by man since the dawn of civilization has been based on murder and corruption and rape and evil and greed and everything else that is scary in the world. America, The Catholic Church, the NCAA, Cabbage Patch Kids, Dental Dams (which by the way are 6 bucks a piece!) are all built on and exist because someone in history raped somebody. It's freaking horrid and weird when you think about it. Every good thing that has ever happened was possible because someone got screwed over or murdered at some point in history. Hell we could start simple...think about mushrooms. Not trip-balls mushrooms I'm talking about the tasty happy mushrooms I get in my calzone every other Thursday. Have you ever thought about how many people in history had to die to figure out that that was a tasty and safe thing to eat? I mean I would probably be OK if I had never had a mushroom in my life...did all those thousands of people have to die just so I could have one more topping on my salad along with the bacon and three pounds of ranch dressing cheese mixture? I wonder if 2000 years ago Caesar Nero had dozens of Christians lined up in a row in his palace (it was a sick casino) and force-fed them whatever random shit he found or had gathered off the ground and if they died or starting shitting all over the place he made a note not to eat that and then he raped and tortured them and thus civilization and the culinary arts were born! Again a facet of our society based on evil and torture. Anyway its unsettling.
Hehehe Ryan just told me about this thing called Smokoing someone. It's a lot like that Icing retardery only you have to chug both a Smirnoff Ice and a Four Loco and you have to do this with neither your head or rectum exploding. When you do it to someone you can scream "oh damn bitch you just got SMOKO'd!!!! I'm gonna go beat the shit outta your dad you vaginal bitchnose!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" and then you're automatically awesome for the next 24 hours.
Well whereto next you ask? Well the Damnable Danny Jackson himself is taking a second swing at the institution of marriage so I get one more weekend of free drinks and singing "Shout" obnoxiously with the band and tomorrow I have an information session at GSU for this program that sounds enticing and time-consuming. Tonight I have to pack a bunch of random books and stuff in my backpack so I don't look like a weirdo walking around campus. God bless chili dogs! Peace!
Sooooooo...well from there it was mostly time to hang out and do stuff; two things I am very surprised were not offered as majors at Georgia and I am greatly offended by that. Oh ya my prodigy from another progeny Collin "Right" Herr came to visit for like 7 hours and we got to watch the Braves win I believe. Did they win? I can't quite remember, my memory is clouded from the 53 pounds of heroin-esque divinity that is Popeye's chicken. Boner city my boy...boner city. So ya I got to see the Braves again before they starting shitting all over themselves and doing everything they can to let the St. Louis Monkey Fisters take the freaking wildcard. Maybe if we let Derek Lowe take a bottle of Crown and a stripper out to the mound he'd quit giving up home runs. Just rent him a fur bus on the way home or something...can't have him screwing up the rotation with court dates all the time.
This week's word of wisdom: It is still possible to get a chilli cheese burrito from Taco Bell. There is one Taco Bell left on the planet that still serves this tasty dose of genius stoner food and it is located in the Lenox Mall Food Court. Go there. Eat it. Know life.
I also got to go camping on Saturday which was a hoot and a holler. Basically Trey "The Greencard" Slinkard and Jackie "The African Shenanigan" Bartleet and I went to the woods and got fucked up. Greencard made pork tenderloin on the rustiest cooking appliance I've ever been party to. Breaking through the haze of McCormick's and Mountain Dew I was slamming along with the tasty coffee drinks we all were enjoying was a very delicious forest dish that completely covered up the taste of deteriorating steel that peppered the grilled vegetables. I was very pleased and I always have fun with my number one favorite couple in the greater Chamblee area. They stick with what works and I respect that. Also congrats on the engagement you guys! I've always wanted to be proposed to on stage with Creed right when they break into the bridge of "Higher" and I'd rip off my t-shirt, grab the mic from what's his name, and scream "Ahhhhh Yaaaaaaa" right when all the pyrotechnics and sparks exploded and it would be the most epic and badass slaughterfuck of a proposal any man has every received from the red-headed chick from True Blood. However...doing it atop the Arc de Triomphe in Paris is pretty freaking cool too. Good job guys.
Well Screw Baloo what the fuck else is going on. So I've been reading some history lately and I've come to a conclusion about my heritage and that of the entire human race. Every development by man since the dawn of civilization has been based on murder and corruption and rape and evil and greed and everything else that is scary in the world. America, The Catholic Church, the NCAA, Cabbage Patch Kids, Dental Dams (which by the way are 6 bucks a piece!) are all built on and exist because someone in history raped somebody. It's freaking horrid and weird when you think about it. Every good thing that has ever happened was possible because someone got screwed over or murdered at some point in history. Hell we could start simple...think about mushrooms. Not trip-balls mushrooms I'm talking about the tasty happy mushrooms I get in my calzone every other Thursday. Have you ever thought about how many people in history had to die to figure out that that was a tasty and safe thing to eat? I mean I would probably be OK if I had never had a mushroom in my life...did all those thousands of people have to die just so I could have one more topping on my salad along with the bacon and three pounds of ranch dressing cheese mixture? I wonder if 2000 years ago Caesar Nero had dozens of Christians lined up in a row in his palace (it was a sick casino) and force-fed them whatever random shit he found or had gathered off the ground and if they died or starting shitting all over the place he made a note not to eat that and then he raped and tortured them and thus civilization and the culinary arts were born! Again a facet of our society based on evil and torture. Anyway its unsettling.
Hehehe Ryan just told me about this thing called Smokoing someone. It's a lot like that Icing retardery only you have to chug both a Smirnoff Ice and a Four Loco and you have to do this with neither your head or rectum exploding. When you do it to someone you can scream "oh damn bitch you just got SMOKO'd!!!! I'm gonna go beat the shit outta your dad you vaginal bitchnose!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" and then you're automatically awesome for the next 24 hours.
Well whereto next you ask? Well the Damnable Danny Jackson himself is taking a second swing at the institution of marriage so I get one more weekend of free drinks and singing "Shout" obnoxiously with the band and tomorrow I have an information session at GSU for this program that sounds enticing and time-consuming. Tonight I have to pack a bunch of random books and stuff in my backpack so I don't look like a weirdo walking around campus. God bless chili dogs! Peace!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Well that was weird...
OK I'm going to go ahead and apologize for that last post. Sometimes things seem brilliant at the time and then you read them later after the Ether has worn off and you realize it was just manically insane ranting that means nothing. Although I am very excited about String Cheese in November and I am usually a fan of cool random listings of stuff like at the beginning of Trainspotting that shit was just silly. It made me laugh but ya that was ridiculous. Although this blog is meant to be a little weird at times and frankly I like to exploit the idea that I can put absolutely anything I want on here so nevermind...apology retracted. That shit's just going to happen on here from time to time.
So the Dawgs suck donkey balls as expected and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be running into Richt up at the labor department in the very near future. And Bobo will likely be buffing hoods at 2-minute Car Wash while he listens to the Dawgs in the Roto-Rooter Shit Bowl come December. Come on guys let's get it together and keep some of you guys around! Oh well we have South Carolina this weekend and let's be frank I know they have a great recruiting class and everyone still has a boner for that Mexican quarterback of theirs but every few years South Carolina pops up on the radar and beats Georgia and then they totally shit the bed come mid-season. Granted the East is shit but get the fuck out of here....it's South Carolina. If we lose we lose but there's no reason for us to lose. Anyway that's my 2 cents. Go Dawgs!!
How come nobody ever covers songs by The Presidents of the United States of America? Lump was freaking awesome and nobody ever thinks of playing that or Peaches or anything else. The next band I join I'm going to try and get those songs covered as well as some Dinosaur Jr.
So jobsearch...blechhhh. I hated this shit last time and I'm dreading it this time. I mean it's not an emergency and I am using this time for self-improvement unlike last time: I joined the gym, I'm getting ready for this GRE business, I'm playing a lot of darts. It's healthy but I am still bored and I'm getting itchy feet. I feel like I need to get a job or I'm going to take off again. I would like to see Utah and maybe Colorado again. "NO Richard Stop It! You are not disappearing again!" "But I want to!!! It was fun last time." "I said NO!! Now stop whining and go back to work!" So ya I'm applying for some jobs and generally keeping myself occupied well-enough. I got some really good darts and with the gym and activities coming up the boredom isn't overpowering but I still want a job to float me until I have a graduate degree. I'll get something I'm sure.
By the way...how many frigging facelifts has Princess Leia had? Holy shit I just saw her on a Jenny Craig commercial and she looks like the cryptkeeper wrapped in flesh-colored Saran wrap. Oh boy that was depressing. I think I need some hot wings to rescue my soul...Later bitches!!!
So the Dawgs suck donkey balls as expected and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be running into Richt up at the labor department in the very near future. And Bobo will likely be buffing hoods at 2-minute Car Wash while he listens to the Dawgs in the Roto-Rooter Shit Bowl come December. Come on guys let's get it together and keep some of you guys around! Oh well we have South Carolina this weekend and let's be frank I know they have a great recruiting class and everyone still has a boner for that Mexican quarterback of theirs but every few years South Carolina pops up on the radar and beats Georgia and then they totally shit the bed come mid-season. Granted the East is shit but get the fuck out of here....it's South Carolina. If we lose we lose but there's no reason for us to lose. Anyway that's my 2 cents. Go Dawgs!!
How come nobody ever covers songs by The Presidents of the United States of America? Lump was freaking awesome and nobody ever thinks of playing that or Peaches or anything else. The next band I join I'm going to try and get those songs covered as well as some Dinosaur Jr.
So jobsearch...blechhhh. I hated this shit last time and I'm dreading it this time. I mean it's not an emergency and I am using this time for self-improvement unlike last time: I joined the gym, I'm getting ready for this GRE business, I'm playing a lot of darts. It's healthy but I am still bored and I'm getting itchy feet. I feel like I need to get a job or I'm going to take off again. I would like to see Utah and maybe Colorado again. "NO Richard Stop It! You are not disappearing again!" "But I want to!!! It was fun last time." "I said NO!! Now stop whining and go back to work!" So ya I'm applying for some jobs and generally keeping myself occupied well-enough. I got some really good darts and with the gym and activities coming up the boredom isn't overpowering but I still want a job to float me until I have a graduate degree. I'll get something I'm sure.
By the way...how many frigging facelifts has Princess Leia had? Holy shit I just saw her on a Jenny Craig commercial and she looks like the cryptkeeper wrapped in flesh-colored Saran wrap. Oh boy that was depressing. I think I need some hot wings to rescue my soul...Later bitches!!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
From the deepest canyons...
And this guy's seeing String Cheese in November!!! That's right bitches! Holy crap so many activities coming up in the near future when am I supposed to get some lame-ass job and do gay stuff? Haha just kidding guys! In any case I've totally been douchey with this blog and I promise I'll keep up with stuff.
Okie dokie so gyms are totally awful shitbag curses that feed on baby souls in hell with Satan. Haha I'm just kidding I love going to the gym especially on Gay Day!! Whatever I'm getting in shape and trying to keep everyone off my ass. And I probably should start playing in a new band. And selling tacos. And doing Yoga. Deadmau5, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, The String Cheese Incident, The Bulldawgs, nice ladies, grilled hotdogs, bags of powdered hallucinogens, flat brims, florescents, boobs, Daddy issues, incoming Fall with temperatures above 90, forgotten dreams, achieved hopes, and delicious delicious victory for all involved.
Haha just kidding I'm just gonna keep kidding you guys forever haha just kidding that would never happen in any real sort of haha just kidding holy fucking shit I've gotta stop saying I'm just kidding haha just kidding that was the other Richard he doesn't know what he's talking about I'm in control now so now we're gonna run this blog for the rest of time hahahahaha...
Haha for real this time I am kidding Richard has taken back over of this undeletable blog that he really enjoys reading. So ya as is usually the case with regard to the exiting Summer, football season approaches and gives people legitimate excuses to stay inside on beautiful Spring-like days. I'm comfortable with that and you fucking should be too. Either balls Georgia plays Boise Twatstate on Saturday and I can not freaking wait to drink heavily and speak jibberish to midwestern children. Haha just kidding I'll totally be respectful!!
Okie dokie so gyms are totally awful shitbag curses that feed on baby souls in hell with Satan. Haha I'm just kidding I love going to the gym especially on Gay Day!! Whatever I'm getting in shape and trying to keep everyone off my ass. And I probably should start playing in a new band. And selling tacos. And doing Yoga. Deadmau5, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, The String Cheese Incident, The Bulldawgs, nice ladies, grilled hotdogs, bags of powdered hallucinogens, flat brims, florescents, boobs, Daddy issues, incoming Fall with temperatures above 90, forgotten dreams, achieved hopes, and delicious delicious victory for all involved.
Haha just kidding I'm just gonna keep kidding you guys forever haha just kidding that would never happen in any real sort of haha just kidding holy fucking shit I've gotta stop saying I'm just kidding haha just kidding that was the other Richard he doesn't know what he's talking about I'm in control now so now we're gonna run this blog for the rest of time hahahahaha...
Haha for real this time I am kidding Richard has taken back over of this undeletable blog that he really enjoys reading. So ya as is usually the case with regard to the exiting Summer, football season approaches and gives people legitimate excuses to stay inside on beautiful Spring-like days. I'm comfortable with that and you fucking should be too. Either balls Georgia plays Boise Twatstate on Saturday and I can not freaking wait to drink heavily and speak jibberish to midwestern children. Haha just kidding I'll totally be respectful!!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Back in the high life again...
So I have a big announcement for everyone! I have changed my name...I am now Richard Productivity Edge because productivity is my middle name! Things are being produced at an alarming rate and my time has largely been filled with me just gazing at my beautiful and productive physique in the mirror and pondering the utter productive nature of my glorious being.
So the trip ended and what did I do? I drove some more!! Actually it was lobster season in the Keys as I mentioned before and I spent the days huffing and wheezing over lobster holes diving down into the salty blue abyss and returning to the sky bearing armfuls of tasty gourmet crustaceans. Unfortunately this was during a time when I should have been unpacking the apartment so I returned to Atlanta totally refreshed and relaxed with my living space looking like some sort of super cool packaging and boxing bomb went off. Oh and on Saturday we went dolphin fishing and totally kicked ass so now I have thousands of pounds of fresh Flipper flesh that goes great with potatoes. (Editor's note: stop being gay it isn't the mammal it's the fish) Anyway the Keys were badass and I'm really glad I got to go but these 12 hour road trips are going to have to stop for a little while. Also went on a nice little side trip to West Palm to visit Captain Pat Mcmonster...oh that freaking guy never disappoints.
So now I'm back in Atlanta doing stuff. Ya know just hanging. I joined a gym which in the past has almost always been the equivalent of using paper money to smear dog shit on the kitchen table but I'm very confident this time I will go more than 4 times and abort this baby that has been growing in my gut. Other than that it's been unpacking and watching TrueBlood and getting back in the swing of whathaveyou that embodies my life. Next mission is going to be find a job and start studying for the GRE/GMAT. As long as I can stay off the couch that shouldn't be too much of a problem although our apartment does look like an opium den what with all the pillows and couches and drug paraphernalia. Braves, beer, and Bartletts tonight. Peace and I promise to keep this blog going more regularly in the future.
So the trip ended and what did I do? I drove some more!! Actually it was lobster season in the Keys as I mentioned before and I spent the days huffing and wheezing over lobster holes diving down into the salty blue abyss and returning to the sky bearing armfuls of tasty gourmet crustaceans. Unfortunately this was during a time when I should have been unpacking the apartment so I returned to Atlanta totally refreshed and relaxed with my living space looking like some sort of super cool packaging and boxing bomb went off. Oh and on Saturday we went dolphin fishing and totally kicked ass so now I have thousands of pounds of fresh Flipper flesh that goes great with potatoes. (Editor's note: stop being gay it isn't the mammal it's the fish) Anyway the Keys were badass and I'm really glad I got to go but these 12 hour road trips are going to have to stop for a little while. Also went on a nice little side trip to West Palm to visit Captain Pat Mcmonster...oh that freaking guy never disappoints.
So now I'm back in Atlanta doing stuff. Ya know just hanging. I joined a gym which in the past has almost always been the equivalent of using paper money to smear dog shit on the kitchen table but I'm very confident this time I will go more than 4 times and abort this baby that has been growing in my gut. Other than that it's been unpacking and watching TrueBlood and getting back in the swing of whathaveyou that embodies my life. Next mission is going to be find a job and start studying for the GRE/GMAT. As long as I can stay off the couch that shouldn't be too much of a problem although our apartment does look like an opium den what with all the pillows and couches and drug paraphernalia. Braves, beer, and Bartletts tonight. Peace and I promise to keep this blog going more regularly in the future.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I Survived!!!!
OK so I made it home safe after over 1900 miles of driving in two days because I am the man. By the way...Nebraska sucks BALLS! It is flat, boring, smelly, and everyone is really fat. Other than that it was a nice drive and I walked into my apartment at 11:33 at night utterly exhausted from driving for almost 15 hours. My God what a trip. I feel like I cut it short a bit but I came home as soon as I was over it. Top picks for cities were definitely San Diego and Austin however San Francisco would have been better without all the hills. Galcier was a staggering highlight as well as Big Bend. I will definitely be doubling back to Utah as soon as possible and I need to see Yosemite but all in all I think I covered most of my bases. I think I want to go to Australia next after I spend a few months as a male prostitute and save up...assuming I can keep my crack habit under control which is obviously always the biggest question mark in anyone's existence.
Traveling like that really is quite awesome...you meet so many different people and you learn so much about people's lives and cultures and other places. I am very glad I did it and I want to do it again some day for sure. Maybe flying next time however although I am definitely no longer afraid of driving.
So what now? Shit I don't know but I think I'm going to go back to school. I definitely want to reinvent my life and existence and I need some schooling in order to do that. Bees are pretty cool...I wonder what kind of degree you need to be a beekeeper. Bees.Bees.Bees. Big money in bees. Maybe I'll sell all of my possessions and put it into bees. BUZZZZZZZ.
OK that was weird I don't know where I was giong with that. Well I'm going to keep posting stuff on here and trying to keep it funny...I'll probably go back to the really weird observations I used to have all the time since my normal life isn't nearly as interesting as me tooling around America doing silly shit and drinking with Australians. Peace!
Traveling like that really is quite awesome...you meet so many different people and you learn so much about people's lives and cultures and other places. I am very glad I did it and I want to do it again some day for sure. Maybe flying next time however although I am definitely no longer afraid of driving.
So what now? Shit I don't know but I think I'm going to go back to school. I definitely want to reinvent my life and existence and I need some schooling in order to do that. Bees are pretty cool...I wonder what kind of degree you need to be a beekeeper. Bees.Bees.Bees. Big money in bees. Maybe I'll sell all of my possessions and put it into bees. BUZZZZZZZ.
OK that was weird I don't know where I was giong with that. Well I'm going to keep posting stuff on here and trying to keep it funny...I'll probably go back to the really weird observations I used to have all the time since my normal life isn't nearly as interesting as me tooling around America doing silly shit and drinking with Australians. Peace!
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