Dude True Blood freaking SUCKS now...

OK I've got an idea for a creepy scary psychological thriller and I want you guys to tell me what you think. So this really cute couple meet and start dating when they're young in the fifties. They met under some pretty amazing circumstances and it really felt like fate when they met. They graduate, get married, and have children. They have a beautiful baby boy and they are so proud but as the boy grows up they slowly start to realize as he matures that he looks vaguely familiar. The more he grows, the more they see it but neither one wants to acknowledge it at the risk of sounding crazy. He grows and grows until he gets to high school and finally the father can't take it anymore. The rage and suspicion builds in him until the one fateful night that he brings it up to his wife. She agrees, he does look like someone they remember but she can't explain it. The husband presses...he knows what this all is but she denies it. The husband goes into a insane rage, throwing furniture and screaming "liar!" all the while the wife is pleading with him to calm down. She can't explain it but she swears it's not what he thinks! He grabs a lamp and swings at her, striking her in the temple a she goes limp on the ground in a bloody heap. He grabs his trusty hunting knife from the dresser and slowly unfolds it, muttering to himself as the insanity explodes in his mind and he loses all grip of reality. "I'm not raising nobody's goddamn bastard" he says as he slowly walks into the next room where their cherished son sleeps. "Hey Dad what's with all the racket in there?" his son says. "I'm just heading down to the mall to hang with Emmit again." "Not this time you little bastard!!" he says as he plunges the knife into his son Marty's throat. Marty reaches for his father as he lies on the floor bleeding from his neck. He gradually stops fighting and clawing as the blood flows out of the hole in his neck and BOOM!!!! The universe instantaneously disappears from existence.

And THAT is my idea for a remake of Back to the Future II. I guess it's closer to the Shining but seriously...how in the hell would the parents never notice that Marty looks EXACTLY like the guy that introduced them? And dammit I had to use the word instantaneous. Shit I hate that stupid word!!!

OK I'm going to go watch TV and think about soundproof drywall.

Just call me Dick Van Sprinkle...

Ahhhh....ohhhhh boy that was a nice nap. Holy spicoli nothing hits the spot like closing your eyes for a minute and just not doing crap for a while. Let me just jump on the old internet machine here and see what I missed. Whoa what the farts??? Who messed with the calendar thingy on my desktop? Has it seriously been almost two years since I was on here? Oh my God! Two years of my life gone...Nooooooooo!!!!!!!

OK be calm...let's get the butler in here. He'll explain everything. Tanjit, what the hell happened? Uh huh...OK so I remember working at the bar at Nap's. And then someone handed me a red pill and a glass of corn liquor and I vaguely remember waking up in a pod filled with pink goo and hoses attached to my body. Did we reelect that boner in Washington? Ah who cares it's all the same shit. Ya ya...something about a bachelor party in Key West. No I'm not gay! It was the groom's idea, trust me. What else? Ya a couple weddings, someone had a baby, blah blah blah, New Orleans for New Years, nice. Douching around, bullshit bullshit bullshit, turned 30, gross. Wait what??? I bought a bar? When the fuck did that happen? Oh shitmonkies how the hell did I do that? It better be an awesome bar...AHHHH it's in Little Five?? I can't afford gauges in my ears! Oh and the tattoo bills holy crap! Well how's it doing? It's not open yet??? Shit!! Well when's it going to open? October?? Oh boy I've got some figuring to do. What else man? A girlfriend!! Ahhh holy shit what about that whole vow of celibacy thing you made me swear when we were taking acid in Sri Lanka that time!  Well I know I wasn't serious but still! Is she cool at least? Into Phish, loves animals and bourbon. Holy shit Tanjit my head's spinning. OK let's get the jam jamming again. First things first! I need a glass of corn liquor and a red pill of some kind...

So here I am back on the pain train. I missed writing random weird things that only I ever read. I find it's quite therapeutic and I usually think I'm at least moderately funny so here I go again on my own. And stop singing Whitesnake!

So according to Tanjit I quit my job at Napoleon's to concentrate on this new venture full time. It should be a super-nice music venue called Aisle 5 here shortly and apparently I'm running the bar and kitchen. Should be healthy if it ever opens.  Also if you know me it's all I talk about so I won't ramble on the details here but when it opens bring your ass and you're drinking shoes!

This new venture has also landed me smack-dab in the middle of a crackpipe circus, AKA Little 5 Points.  So, in dickedge v. 5.3 or whatever the fuck number I'm on at this point I will certainly be posting my funny observations and interactions I have with the strange and noteworthy locals of my new business home. Like Tao and the crazy meth-chick with the sequins and the shaved head. I already made friends with them. OK I'll be back on as the ideas start rolling again. Keep it real my little chickadees.