October rocks whether the Braves suck or not.

Ya the last couple of weeks have been pretty swell And ya I used the word swell, what of it???

October is the absolute most awesome badass time of year for myself and thus the entire universe for a variety of reasons that all culminate right about 4 days into the month. Let's start with the most obvious: football. Football by this time of year has taken a steroid rage-esque stanglehold on the frontal lobes of every non-vegetable human being in America and it is a breathtaking sight to watch us all drool over and brag about the spellbinding achievements of others. Sweet Lord just thinking about Drew Brees ninja-punching homo Indianapolis linebackers in front of millions of screaming lunatics makes me embarrassingly aroused. And of course the Dawgs are usually spending this time of year deciding whether we will be beaten by both Tennessee and Florida or if it will just be Florida...Let's beat the odds this year Richt! Oh football you are in the top five excuses I use to get hammered while the sun is shining.

Reason number 2: The weather. I mean duh this is an obvious one but I think October really closes the case on why the South is awesome and everything up North is awful and barren and terrible. In places like Milwaukee and Fargo and Fucktard, New Hampshire it's starting to get cold as balls and they're having to start feeding the babies more liquor and burning more animal dung to keep the frostbite from spreading. And hey that's totally fun and probably pretty cool but honestly I'd rather live down here where we can still wear shorts and not feel weird ordering a Bud Light Lime. Nope, down here it's still absolutely beautiful and all of the snow monkeys in the Northern Territories are hunkering down to begin growing their Winter coats and overeating sausages to prepare for the hibernation. Oh glorious sunshine you are fun and cool!

So what else...oh I get to go to Destin in October which sounds strange but you must understand that the famous Destin Fishing Rodeo happens throughout the month of October and on the second weekend of the month we go down there and go fishing. And if I'm lucky I am unemployed at this time of year and I can go down early and get drunk for a few extra days before we go out fishing on Saturday. Yayyy unemployment vacations!!! Well that did happen to be the case this year and Dad and I went on down early and commenced slow Florida living. Well to be honest it kind of reminded me of being back on the road. I'd put Dad to bed at like 10 and then it's just me and I go out for a drink and wind up chilling at the bar alone. It's healthy and you learn to actually appreciate the quiet and entertaining yourself. You watch all the other fools around you making jokes and trying to bang each other and you sit back and enjoy the show. So anyway the forecast was calling for 10 foot seas and we all decided that violently puking while trapped in a washing machine we paid money for was not an enjoyable Saturday and commenced return to the right side of the border.

Actually I came on back early and got to catch a SICK Widespread show that freaking ROCKED! Best Flat Foot Floozy ever. I was able to snag a tik at the last second and they really brought the heat. Ricky and I both agreed it was a phenomenal show. And then what happens the following weekend? Bassnectar and Pretty Lights!! Or Pretty Lights and Bassnectar!! However you like it but this past weekend was a blur of bass bomb ridiculousness. I went ahead and booked a hotel up in Alpharetta to limit the influenced explorations and from there it was raging awesome electronic music and wondering what the hell all these high school kids were doing out. It's a little unnerving when you see some 16 year old girl wearing a bikini and fishnets, covered in glitter and domed out of her skull on MDMA. I swear these kids today either have way overly cool parents or they are much better liars than I ever was. In any case PL and BN were incredibly awesome as well as Big Gigantic who is a personal favorite of mine. I just have a thing for any band with a saxophone...makes me feel like a film noir detective in the forties.

And Halloween's coming up and it doesn't look like I'm going to make it to the Cocktail Party again this year. It's a little depressing but maybe I'm getting too old for these 3 day drinking binges. Or maybe they just come around a little too often. There will be parties however and I guess I have to conquer that most American of dilemmas we all have to face at least once a year...what will I wear to the costume party? Shit I'm terrible at this. I'll probably cop out and just be green man but I'm very tempted to go as Bearded Ke$ha. I'd like to go as something that wouldn't completely rule out the idea of getting laid but hell if I get a few good laughs that's probably just as good and far less messy. Well have a wonderful week boils and ghouls and I'll catch you on the flipside.