And this guy's seeing String Cheese in November!!! That's right bitches! Holy crap so many activities coming up in the near future when am I supposed to get some lame-ass job and do gay stuff? Haha just kidding guys! In any case I've totally been douchey with this blog and I promise I'll keep up with stuff.
Okie dokie so gyms are totally awful shitbag curses that feed on baby souls in hell with Satan. Haha I'm just kidding I love going to the gym especially on Gay Day!! Whatever I'm getting in shape and trying to keep everyone off my ass. And I probably should start playing in a new band. And selling tacos. And doing Yoga. Deadmau5, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, The String Cheese Incident, The Bulldawgs, nice ladies, grilled hotdogs, bags of powdered hallucinogens, flat brims, florescents, boobs, Daddy issues, incoming Fall with temperatures above 90, forgotten dreams, achieved hopes, and delicious delicious victory for all involved.
Haha just kidding I'm just gonna keep kidding you guys forever haha just kidding that would never happen in any real sort of haha just kidding holy fucking shit I've gotta stop saying I'm just kidding haha just kidding that was the other Richard he doesn't know what he's talking about I'm in control now so now we're gonna run this blog for the rest of time hahahahaha...
Haha for real this time I am kidding Richard has taken back over of this undeletable blog that he really enjoys reading. So ya as is usually the case with regard to the exiting Summer, football season approaches and gives people legitimate excuses to stay inside on beautiful Spring-like days. I'm comfortable with that and you fucking should be too. Either balls Georgia plays Boise Twatstate on Saturday and I can not freaking wait to drink heavily and speak jibberish to midwestern children. Haha just kidding I'll totally be respectful!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Back in the high life again...
So I have a big announcement for everyone! I have changed my name...I am now Richard Productivity Edge because productivity is my middle name! Things are being produced at an alarming rate and my time has largely been filled with me just gazing at my beautiful and productive physique in the mirror and pondering the utter productive nature of my glorious being.
So the trip ended and what did I do? I drove some more!! Actually it was lobster season in the Keys as I mentioned before and I spent the days huffing and wheezing over lobster holes diving down into the salty blue abyss and returning to the sky bearing armfuls of tasty gourmet crustaceans. Unfortunately this was during a time when I should have been unpacking the apartment so I returned to Atlanta totally refreshed and relaxed with my living space looking like some sort of super cool packaging and boxing bomb went off. Oh and on Saturday we went dolphin fishing and totally kicked ass so now I have thousands of pounds of fresh Flipper flesh that goes great with potatoes. (Editor's note: stop being gay it isn't the mammal it's the fish) Anyway the Keys were badass and I'm really glad I got to go but these 12 hour road trips are going to have to stop for a little while. Also went on a nice little side trip to West Palm to visit Captain Pat Mcmonster...oh that freaking guy never disappoints.
So now I'm back in Atlanta doing stuff. Ya know just hanging. I joined a gym which in the past has almost always been the equivalent of using paper money to smear dog shit on the kitchen table but I'm very confident this time I will go more than 4 times and abort this baby that has been growing in my gut. Other than that it's been unpacking and watching TrueBlood and getting back in the swing of whathaveyou that embodies my life. Next mission is going to be find a job and start studying for the GRE/GMAT. As long as I can stay off the couch that shouldn't be too much of a problem although our apartment does look like an opium den what with all the pillows and couches and drug paraphernalia. Braves, beer, and Bartletts tonight. Peace and I promise to keep this blog going more regularly in the future.
So the trip ended and what did I do? I drove some more!! Actually it was lobster season in the Keys as I mentioned before and I spent the days huffing and wheezing over lobster holes diving down into the salty blue abyss and returning to the sky bearing armfuls of tasty gourmet crustaceans. Unfortunately this was during a time when I should have been unpacking the apartment so I returned to Atlanta totally refreshed and relaxed with my living space looking like some sort of super cool packaging and boxing bomb went off. Oh and on Saturday we went dolphin fishing and totally kicked ass so now I have thousands of pounds of fresh Flipper flesh that goes great with potatoes. (Editor's note: stop being gay it isn't the mammal it's the fish) Anyway the Keys were badass and I'm really glad I got to go but these 12 hour road trips are going to have to stop for a little while. Also went on a nice little side trip to West Palm to visit Captain Pat Mcmonster...oh that freaking guy never disappoints.
So now I'm back in Atlanta doing stuff. Ya know just hanging. I joined a gym which in the past has almost always been the equivalent of using paper money to smear dog shit on the kitchen table but I'm very confident this time I will go more than 4 times and abort this baby that has been growing in my gut. Other than that it's been unpacking and watching TrueBlood and getting back in the swing of whathaveyou that embodies my life. Next mission is going to be find a job and start studying for the GRE/GMAT. As long as I can stay off the couch that shouldn't be too much of a problem although our apartment does look like an opium den what with all the pillows and couches and drug paraphernalia. Braves, beer, and Bartletts tonight. Peace and I promise to keep this blog going more regularly in the future.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I Survived!!!!
OK so I made it home safe after over 1900 miles of driving in two days because I am the man. By the way...Nebraska sucks BALLS! It is flat, boring, smelly, and everyone is really fat. Other than that it was a nice drive and I walked into my apartment at 11:33 at night utterly exhausted from driving for almost 15 hours. My God what a trip. I feel like I cut it short a bit but I came home as soon as I was over it. Top picks for cities were definitely San Diego and Austin however San Francisco would have been better without all the hills. Galcier was a staggering highlight as well as Big Bend. I will definitely be doubling back to Utah as soon as possible and I need to see Yosemite but all in all I think I covered most of my bases. I think I want to go to Australia next after I spend a few months as a male prostitute and save up...assuming I can keep my crack habit under control which is obviously always the biggest question mark in anyone's existence.
Traveling like that really is quite awesome...you meet so many different people and you learn so much about people's lives and cultures and other places. I am very glad I did it and I want to do it again some day for sure. Maybe flying next time however although I am definitely no longer afraid of driving.
So what now? Shit I don't know but I think I'm going to go back to school. I definitely want to reinvent my life and existence and I need some schooling in order to do that. Bees are pretty cool...I wonder what kind of degree you need to be a beekeeper. Bees.Bees.Bees. Big money in bees. Maybe I'll sell all of my possessions and put it into bees. BUZZZZZZZ.
OK that was weird I don't know where I was giong with that. Well I'm going to keep posting stuff on here and trying to keep it funny...I'll probably go back to the really weird observations I used to have all the time since my normal life isn't nearly as interesting as me tooling around America doing silly shit and drinking with Australians. Peace!
Traveling like that really is quite awesome...you meet so many different people and you learn so much about people's lives and cultures and other places. I am very glad I did it and I want to do it again some day for sure. Maybe flying next time however although I am definitely no longer afraid of driving.
So what now? Shit I don't know but I think I'm going to go back to school. I definitely want to reinvent my life and existence and I need some schooling in order to do that. Bees are pretty cool...I wonder what kind of degree you need to be a beekeeper. Bees.Bees.Bees. Big money in bees. Maybe I'll sell all of my possessions and put it into bees. BUZZZZZZZ.
OK that was weird I don't know where I was giong with that. Well I'm going to keep posting stuff on here and trying to keep it funny...I'll probably go back to the really weird observations I used to have all the time since my normal life isn't nearly as interesting as me tooling around America doing silly shit and drinking with Australians. Peace!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
This is how Lewis and Clark did their blog...
Why in the hell is it that when you cry your nose starts running and you wind up blowing snot rockets all over creation while having a meaningful moment looking at the Atlas and thinking about being...Jesus Christ that was the biggest goddamn mosquito I've ever killed in my life!!! Holy ballsacks on Mars I should mount that sonofabitch!! OK I'll clear things up this is being written on a pad in Grand Teton National Park next to my tent. The fat lady is singing her ass off and I just figured up the amount of miles I must traverse to be back in the Grove at Lenox Park:1847 miles. Shitdamn...I piss 1847 miles with a hangover and hemorrhoids on a Tuesday in my sleep! I ain't no pussy. ( Editor's note: I neither have hemorrhoids nor do I intend on being hungover on Tuesday but many elements have been added for dramatic effect.)
Grand Teton is the coux de gras (Sp.? Fuck the French) of my adventure and for the first time I saw them today and my God they are far more amazing than the best screensaver I've ever seen in my life. Just a few towering, majestic behemoths backlit by the sun over a massive blue lake that has to be slightly less polluted than the Chattahoochie. Tomorrow I'm going to take them on and get a good couple of hikes in before streaking across North America in a steady burn back to God's other country. I finally have found that I miss my family, my friends, and my glorious boner-inspiring pillow-top bed. When it came down to it...it was the scabies. Damn things are a bitch! I'm just kidding I haven't had anything like that but I am ready to be home after satisfying my Earth-lust out here in Wyoming. It was definitely a shitshow getting down here from Whitefish and I actually did get to see a good bit of Yellowstone in that you have to go right through the middle for 2 hours to get to GT. And honestly...meh. I mean it was cool what with all the geysers and steam and assorted other warnings of the coming apocalypse. I found it to be mostly trees and really slow-driving old fucks that have NO sensitivity toward a kid trying to haul ass to Teton before all the campsites fill up.
In any case this does mean I am nearing the end of my trip but definitely not the end of this blog for damn sure. Actually I'll probably have plenty to bitch about when I return what with the moving and getting shit caught up. Oh and guess what? The wild and wonderful Dorchaks are headed down to the Keys on the 6th and guess who they want to come? And guess who's moving on the 6th? And guess who's driving almost to Key West after moving for 2 days? Actually please excuse any negativity you might have picked during that sequence in that I absolutely ADORE every single person on this planet with the Dorchak name and if they're going snorkeling for lobster come shitrain or fucktards I'm going to be there. Like I'm sweating driving...dude I'm the drive fucking mater!!I really can't wait to be home though...I love you all and will see you very soon.
Grand Teton is the coux de gras (Sp.? Fuck the French) of my adventure and for the first time I saw them today and my God they are far more amazing than the best screensaver I've ever seen in my life. Just a few towering, majestic behemoths backlit by the sun over a massive blue lake that has to be slightly less polluted than the Chattahoochie. Tomorrow I'm going to take them on and get a good couple of hikes in before streaking across North America in a steady burn back to God's other country. I finally have found that I miss my family, my friends, and my glorious boner-inspiring pillow-top bed. When it came down to it...it was the scabies. Damn things are a bitch! I'm just kidding I haven't had anything like that but I am ready to be home after satisfying my Earth-lust out here in Wyoming. It was definitely a shitshow getting down here from Whitefish and I actually did get to see a good bit of Yellowstone in that you have to go right through the middle for 2 hours to get to GT. And honestly...meh. I mean it was cool what with all the geysers and steam and assorted other warnings of the coming apocalypse. I found it to be mostly trees and really slow-driving old fucks that have NO sensitivity toward a kid trying to haul ass to Teton before all the campsites fill up.
In any case this does mean I am nearing the end of my trip but definitely not the end of this blog for damn sure. Actually I'll probably have plenty to bitch about when I return what with the moving and getting shit caught up. Oh and guess what? The wild and wonderful Dorchaks are headed down to the Keys on the 6th and guess who they want to come? And guess who's moving on the 6th? And guess who's driving almost to Key West after moving for 2 days? Actually please excuse any negativity you might have picked during that sequence in that I absolutely ADORE every single person on this planet with the Dorchak name and if they're going snorkeling for lobster come shitrain or fucktards I'm going to be there. Like I'm sweating driving...dude I'm the drive fucking mater!!I really can't wait to be home though...I love you all and will see you very soon.
Holy Shit I'm Behind...
(Written on a pad of paper a few days ago)
So I left Seattle after some strange adventures. That Kiwi I mentioned actually turned out to be an Australian and we wound up hanging out for a couple days and I actually stayed in Seattle an extra day to check out the EMP (experience Music Project) which had this massive exhibit about Nirvana and Jimi Hendrix and all these rooms where you could play instruments and it was definitely another one of my nerdgasms...total blast and was interesting as shit. So Steve the Aussie and I go rage that shit and then say fuck it and take a ferry ride over to Bainbridge island which I knew nothing about. It turns out they have a shitload of really good wine over there and my mission to obtain Pinot Grigio for Dad was finally a success! Well...mostly. So I buy a bunch of wine on the island and we say "shit we better go catch the ferry" and run down and miss it by like a minute. At that point we had 45 minutes to kill and once again, as I have so many times on this trip, said "fuck it" and I pushed the cork in to one of Dad's bottles and we commenced to sit on the curb in the parking lot and got wino shitfaced like hobos...it was definitely one of the classier experiences so far. Anyway Steve was cool as hell and was also doing an extended tour of Geography only his is literally around the world. Now that shit's intense yet a very favorable challenge.
So I pressed onward and my next stop was to be Glacier National Park. I did not have a place to stay there but figured I'd figure something out. Instead I hollered at the awesome and glorious Elizabeth Sutton because I thought she knew people up there. She responds and gives me her friend Holly's number who I call and introduce myself. She tells me they're out of town but gives me the address and says for me to just go on in and make myself at home...the door's open. Hahaha wow really? Well hell so I plugged their address in my GPS, ride on up, go inside and crash in these people's house like I lived there! They are definitely the nicest and most laid back people on the planet. And then the neighbors saw me and I explained the situation and they invited me for dinner! There are some very nice people in Montana. Glacier was freaking GORGEOUS by the way. I know ya'll are getting sick of hearing that but Glacier was definitely the most mind-blowing thing I've seen. And there was still 3 feet of snow on the ground!! Craziness but I got some amazing pictures and had a wonderful day up there. I then returned to Whitefish where Holly and Andy had returned and they took me to another neighbor's house and i wound up drinking beer with the great-grandson of Casey Jones...the coked up train guy from the Grateful Dead song!! Celebrity number 2...check. Helluva time up there and my eternal gratitude to Holly and Andy. If they ever find themselves in Atlanta and would like to sleep in my living room they are definitely set with beers on me.
So I left Seattle after some strange adventures. That Kiwi I mentioned actually turned out to be an Australian and we wound up hanging out for a couple days and I actually stayed in Seattle an extra day to check out the EMP (experience Music Project) which had this massive exhibit about Nirvana and Jimi Hendrix and all these rooms where you could play instruments and it was definitely another one of my nerdgasms...total blast and was interesting as shit. So Steve the Aussie and I go rage that shit and then say fuck it and take a ferry ride over to Bainbridge island which I knew nothing about. It turns out they have a shitload of really good wine over there and my mission to obtain Pinot Grigio for Dad was finally a success! Well...mostly. So I buy a bunch of wine on the island and we say "shit we better go catch the ferry" and run down and miss it by like a minute. At that point we had 45 minutes to kill and once again, as I have so many times on this trip, said "fuck it" and I pushed the cork in to one of Dad's bottles and we commenced to sit on the curb in the parking lot and got wino shitfaced like hobos...it was definitely one of the classier experiences so far. Anyway Steve was cool as hell and was also doing an extended tour of Geography only his is literally around the world. Now that shit's intense yet a very favorable challenge.
So I pressed onward and my next stop was to be Glacier National Park. I did not have a place to stay there but figured I'd figure something out. Instead I hollered at the awesome and glorious Elizabeth Sutton because I thought she knew people up there. She responds and gives me her friend Holly's number who I call and introduce myself. She tells me they're out of town but gives me the address and says for me to just go on in and make myself at home...the door's open. Hahaha wow really? Well hell so I plugged their address in my GPS, ride on up, go inside and crash in these people's house like I lived there! They are definitely the nicest and most laid back people on the planet. And then the neighbors saw me and I explained the situation and they invited me for dinner! There are some very nice people in Montana. Glacier was freaking GORGEOUS by the way. I know ya'll are getting sick of hearing that but Glacier was definitely the most mind-blowing thing I've seen. And there was still 3 feet of snow on the ground!! Craziness but I got some amazing pictures and had a wonderful day up there. I then returned to Whitefish where Holly and Andy had returned and they took me to another neighbor's house and i wound up drinking beer with the great-grandson of Casey Jones...the coked up train guy from the Grateful Dead song!! Celebrity number 2...check. Helluva time up there and my eternal gratitude to Holly and Andy. If they ever find themselves in Atlanta and would like to sleep in my living room they are definitely set with beers on me.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Endor is gorgeous this time of year...
Alright guys I'm in Seattle and let's get the heroin flowing!!! I got some angst to release and ain't nobody keeping me off the needle!!! OK I'm just kidding I'm not going to do heroin but I definitely want to go see some heroin-fueled rock bands. I came as I am but my pillow ain't made of concrete.
So...Portland. Absolutely beautiful city with a lot of homeless people and really good beer...connection perhaps? Before getting there I had one of the longer burns of this trip going 10 hours through Redwood forests and gorgeous coastline out of Ft. Bragg, California. Don't ask me where it is but I slept there. So anyway I survived that awesome drive and landed at the hostel in Portland and was immediately directed to the Rogue brewery which I didn't even know was in Portland. Really cool place and I got to sample a bunch of their different beers as well as their fine line of homemade liquors which I wasn't aware of. Even got a bottle of whiskey to take home. Souvenirs are fun!
So I only got to put in a day in Portland because I'm running low on time and I shot on up to Seattle. And everything I've ever heard about Seattle is bullshit...the weather is wonderful here! Right now it's sunny and about 71 degrees and awesome. Even the beggars are in good spirits! Speaking of that...this easily the most homeless city I've been to so far. I'm getting hit up for change constently but it ain't so bad.
So last night I was craving some music and I went down to the Funhouse which is actually next door to the Space Needle and is a fantastic music venue. The band I saw was decent but they did prove my theory that a band's quality automatically jumps 2 points on a ten-point scale if they can employ a hot chick bassist. They were good but between the brownie and God-awful douche of a second act playing a mandolin and screaming gibberish, I went on home by 11:30 and was accosted several times by crackheads who I thought were going to rape me on the street and take my shoes. Fortunately that did not happen and I was able to survive for my glorious walking tour of downtown Seattle this morning. I also rode to the top of the Space Needle this afternoon so I've had a productively touristy day of fun. I'll likely go find a happy hour and some dinner here shortly and perhaps another show tonight if one is nearby. We'll see.
In any case this is sort of the halfway point of my trip although I will be home in less than 2 weeks. This trip has been every bit as refreshing and epic as I planned it to be and I am confident it will have changed me at least somewhat when I get back. I feel far more confident in myself and my ability to survive in the world. This country is massively grand and awe-inspiring and my only regret is that I hadn't done this sooner. After Seattle I think I may make a run for Glacier National Park and from there work my way down to Grand Teton. From there a couple of healthy burns downward should get me home to my bed.
Well a friendly New Zealander I met at the Space Needle earlier just stopped by the room to see if I wanted to go for drinks and I think I might oblige! I'll resist the temptation to ask how Frodo and Sam are doing with the ring situation. I love you guys and can't wait to see everyone again soon!
So...Portland. Absolutely beautiful city with a lot of homeless people and really good beer...connection perhaps? Before getting there I had one of the longer burns of this trip going 10 hours through Redwood forests and gorgeous coastline out of Ft. Bragg, California. Don't ask me where it is but I slept there. So anyway I survived that awesome drive and landed at the hostel in Portland and was immediately directed to the Rogue brewery which I didn't even know was in Portland. Really cool place and I got to sample a bunch of their different beers as well as their fine line of homemade liquors which I wasn't aware of. Even got a bottle of whiskey to take home. Souvenirs are fun!
So I only got to put in a day in Portland because I'm running low on time and I shot on up to Seattle. And everything I've ever heard about Seattle is bullshit...the weather is wonderful here! Right now it's sunny and about 71 degrees and awesome. Even the beggars are in good spirits! Speaking of that...this easily the most homeless city I've been to so far. I'm getting hit up for change constently but it ain't so bad.
So last night I was craving some music and I went down to the Funhouse which is actually next door to the Space Needle and is a fantastic music venue. The band I saw was decent but they did prove my theory that a band's quality automatically jumps 2 points on a ten-point scale if they can employ a hot chick bassist. They were good but between the brownie and God-awful douche of a second act playing a mandolin and screaming gibberish, I went on home by 11:30 and was accosted several times by crackheads who I thought were going to rape me on the street and take my shoes. Fortunately that did not happen and I was able to survive for my glorious walking tour of downtown Seattle this morning. I also rode to the top of the Space Needle this afternoon so I've had a productively touristy day of fun. I'll likely go find a happy hour and some dinner here shortly and perhaps another show tonight if one is nearby. We'll see.
In any case this is sort of the halfway point of my trip although I will be home in less than 2 weeks. This trip has been every bit as refreshing and epic as I planned it to be and I am confident it will have changed me at least somewhat when I get back. I feel far more confident in myself and my ability to survive in the world. This country is massively grand and awe-inspiring and my only regret is that I hadn't done this sooner. After Seattle I think I may make a run for Glacier National Park and from there work my way down to Grand Teton. From there a couple of healthy burns downward should get me home to my bed.
Well a friendly New Zealander I met at the Space Needle earlier just stopped by the room to see if I wanted to go for drinks and I think I might oblige! I'll resist the temptation to ask how Frodo and Sam are doing with the ring situation. I love you guys and can't wait to see everyone again soon!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Damn this toilet is starting to smell like the Sixties!
OK these hills are officially starting to own my ass. You're just strolling along enjoying the day and you say "hey I wonder what's around this corner" and then you turn and you're staring at the base of K fucking 2 but then you realize the bus stop is up there and you have to do it and then you start sweating and then the water starts getting cold on you're back and you remember what Bear Grylls said about hypothermia but you climb anyway and it's funny watching people in suits and stuff trying to negotiate super steep mountains in the middle of North Beach with little messenger bags. Oh ya North Beach is cool as hell...pizza and gelato everywhere. I think that's why I'm huffing and puffing up and down these hills...I'm eating awesome food every fifteen minutes.
By the way Haight-Ashbury was exactly what I expected it to be. There are a shitload of head shops, a shitload of drug addicts and homeless people, and every once in a while a cute little family from Minnesota satisfying the exact same impulse that took them to the San Diego Zoo. It was cool and I'm glad I got to see it but hippies, as they have since the beginning of time, still suck. Although I'm only a couple steps above a hippie so I can't talk too much shit. Golden Gate park by the way is freaking HUGE!! It's 3 miles long!! It definitely got me to thinking...Atlanta needs to step up its park situation soon. Piedmont is a baby to that monstrosity and in San Fran there are parks every other block and I'm a bit of a park guy so I wish there were more back home. I mean come on...where are the homeless people supposed to sleep and buy crank? In the street like a common dreg? That shit just ain't fair. I think I read somewhere that Atlanta has the least amount of park space of all the major cities and that sucks. Although Piedmont is a great place to have an anonymous sexual encounter for sure it just doesn't measure up to the plethora of hiding places and little nooks in Golden Gate that afford free love to flow all over the Bay Area. And be careful where you step because that free love will definitely stick to your shoe.
So Collin's got this friend Renard that is apparently very excited to show people cool stuff to eat in town and I officially feel like Anthony Bourdain minus the money and fame and coolness. We went on a taco tour the other night down in the Mission and holy shit that was freaking AWESOME! They have phenomenal taquerias out here and we went to five different ones and had a taco at each. Chorrizo and prawns and cow tongue and everything else imaginable paired with the most delicious salsas you can imagine on homemade tortillas. Needless to say I shit like Nagasaki both that night and the morning after...details that Bourdain conveniently leaves out whenever he's circling the globe eating steaming and delicious bowls of dysentery. And then last night Renard gave the green light to the second assault on my digestive system by introducing me to his favorite Thai restaurant down the way. Oh red curry spare ribs you are like spicy heroin. Although I did try to mainline them and the needle got terribly clogged. Don't try that guys...just eat them like normal.
Well what next? I'm starting to miss the great outdoors once again but I have a ticket on the Alcatraz cruise on Saturday Sean Connery style so I think I'm staying until at least Sunday morning. Collin keeps bragging about the sushi out here...we'll see what their super crunch roll does to my perspective of the universe. They probably don't have one because unlike in the South here not everything edible must be fried in oil although that does make everything better. I suppose this is turning into the Eat part of my trip if you must compare my journey to certain Julia Roberts women's empowerment movies about self-discovery. I ain't doing much praying these days but I always got a lotta love to give. Jesus that was lame. Okie dokie I gotta get my shit together and go see more stuff in this glorious town. Keep it real homies...I'll try to get one more post in before I enter the forest again because who knows when I'll have internet again. Peace!
By the way Haight-Ashbury was exactly what I expected it to be. There are a shitload of head shops, a shitload of drug addicts and homeless people, and every once in a while a cute little family from Minnesota satisfying the exact same impulse that took them to the San Diego Zoo. It was cool and I'm glad I got to see it but hippies, as they have since the beginning of time, still suck. Although I'm only a couple steps above a hippie so I can't talk too much shit. Golden Gate park by the way is freaking HUGE!! It's 3 miles long!! It definitely got me to thinking...Atlanta needs to step up its park situation soon. Piedmont is a baby to that monstrosity and in San Fran there are parks every other block and I'm a bit of a park guy so I wish there were more back home. I mean come on...where are the homeless people supposed to sleep and buy crank? In the street like a common dreg? That shit just ain't fair. I think I read somewhere that Atlanta has the least amount of park space of all the major cities and that sucks. Although Piedmont is a great place to have an anonymous sexual encounter for sure it just doesn't measure up to the plethora of hiding places and little nooks in Golden Gate that afford free love to flow all over the Bay Area. And be careful where you step because that free love will definitely stick to your shoe.
So Collin's got this friend Renard that is apparently very excited to show people cool stuff to eat in town and I officially feel like Anthony Bourdain minus the money and fame and coolness. We went on a taco tour the other night down in the Mission and holy shit that was freaking AWESOME! They have phenomenal taquerias out here and we went to five different ones and had a taco at each. Chorrizo and prawns and cow tongue and everything else imaginable paired with the most delicious salsas you can imagine on homemade tortillas. Needless to say I shit like Nagasaki both that night and the morning after...details that Bourdain conveniently leaves out whenever he's circling the globe eating steaming and delicious bowls of dysentery. And then last night Renard gave the green light to the second assault on my digestive system by introducing me to his favorite Thai restaurant down the way. Oh red curry spare ribs you are like spicy heroin. Although I did try to mainline them and the needle got terribly clogged. Don't try that guys...just eat them like normal.
Well what next? I'm starting to miss the great outdoors once again but I have a ticket on the Alcatraz cruise on Saturday Sean Connery style so I think I'm staying until at least Sunday morning. Collin keeps bragging about the sushi out here...we'll see what their super crunch roll does to my perspective of the universe. They probably don't have one because unlike in the South here not everything edible must be fried in oil although that does make everything better. I suppose this is turning into the Eat part of my trip if you must compare my journey to certain Julia Roberts women's empowerment movies about self-discovery. I ain't doing much praying these days but I always got a lotta love to give. Jesus that was lame. Okie dokie I gotta get my shit together and go see more stuff in this glorious town. Keep it real homies...I'll try to get one more post in before I enter the forest again because who knows when I'll have internet again. Peace!
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